What about your friends?
"Last night the DJ saved my life" has been stuck in my head and brought me back to my post college days, when my girlfriends and I would club hop all throughout NYC’s Lower East Side. It's so funny how songs have this insane ability to trigger a myriad of thoughts, emotions and memories—both good and bad. Now, as a woman in her forties, the art of loving, living and learning is ever-changing and that includes friendships too.
Recently, I’ve found myself in a state of growth & becoming comfortable leaning into the unknown (case in point, this blog!). But also reflecting on my personal journey, from college to high school and even further back; I've come to understand my own "friendship style," and how that has shaped me and the tribe that surrounds me.
It’s funny, listening to my boys talk about their “friend groups” at school, I'm reminded that as mere humans, we all crave connectivity through familiarity. But as life unfolds, things change, people also change and we often find ourselves adapting to the newness that surrounds us.
Navigating friendships in this decade has been an intriguing process. Whether it's been through shared interests, social organizations, work, children's schools or even chance encounters; meeting other women and making friends is an interesting experience. Gone are the days when making friends seemed as simple as hitting the "easy button." Also, add to that sometimes life's challenges & complexities like raising children, aging parents and even divorce in some cases; we're constantly flexing our friendship muscles. Dr Sharon Malone just wrote a wonderful new book called ‘Grown Woman Talk’ focusing on the health & wellness of women over forty and all that they go through; however, I just can’t help but think how “all that we go through” can effect our friendships, new & old alike; as some women lean into their friendships when they’re going through adversities & others retreat. Many years ago, I remember when my father had his stroke, I couldn’t pick up the phone to let my friends know to ask for prayers or even support; during that time, I felt the need to shut out all distractions & focus on the path in front of me; right or wrong that’s what I did. Yet, over the years, I've learned that the true friendships I’ve built are are invaluable. As the old Jamaican proverb goes, "good friends are better than pocket money."
This year, I've made a conscious decision to prioritize my friendships, re-recognizing the importance of nurturing these bonds. Whether it's over coffee or lunch dates, soon to be pickle ball sessions, or simply catching up over the phone; I like to think I’ve been intentional about rekindling old friendships (if I need to) and fostering new ones. I truly treasure my girlfriends & I want them to know that.
I dropped my eldest at a sleepover on Friday night & the hostess mom, whom I recently met, had cocktails & a cheese grazing board set up for the moms to chit chat for a bit, it was a wonderful reminder of how these brief moments of connectivity can fill us up. Whether it’s through sharing stories about our children, husbands, recommending new doctors, skin care products etc, we each simply revel in the company of others.
So let’s toast to friendships with some badass women who are all still figuring it out, with “style & grace”!!
Oh, and with a new pickle ball racquet too!! Cheers!
With gratitude,
Jodi
My day ones: my beautiful bride-maids from my wedding almost 14 years ago (left to right: Simone, my cousin Tara & Kerry).
My best friend, Simone, and I in Barbados back in 2007 on a business trip for a company we started - more about that in a later post.
“Women do it better! ”